


Jorogumo

by BeaconHill



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cannibalism, Creature Lily Potter, Genderfluid Character, Giant Spiders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Spiders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28865214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaconHill/pseuds/BeaconHill
Summary: At first, Lily figures it's just a prank that she suddenly feels ravenously hungry, no matter how much she eats. It's only when her eyes turn solid black that she really starts to worry. But then she finds out that she's turning into a Dark creature: a jorogumo, a species of legendary giant spiders who seduce and theneathuman beings. Jorogumo have been forbidden in wizarding Britain for hundreds of years, and they're despised by the Death Eaters, a blood purist terrorist group now growing in strength. Lily Evans had been a naive young Hogwarts student, but now she's thrown into the wizarding world's dangerous underground, hiding herself from her family and friends as she grows into her power and her hunger.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	1. New Hunger

It's only when I step out of my morning shower, my red hair limp and dripping, that I realize that my eyes have turned pitch black. No bright green iris, no white sclera, just black from edge to edge.  
  
_What?_ I step closer to the mirror, gripped by a sudden chill despite the hot shower. My reflection pulls her eyelid down, rolls her eyes around. It's _all_ black.  
  
"Striking," the mirror feebly murmurs. "But maybe you should see a Healer about that."  
  
Maybe I should. I just visited Madam Pomfrey a few days ago – I've been so ravenously hungry it's scary for almost a week, and it won't go away no matter how much I stuff myself. But she did her diagnostic charms and found nothing. She thought I might have been pranked with a dose of Engorging Elixir, but the bottle of antidote she gave me didn't help at all.  
  
But... Creepy bottomless hunger. Now creepy black eyes. This is starting to get alarming. For all that the wizarding world can't stand Muggleborn, it hates Dark creatures a whole lot more. And this... is starting to sound an awful lot like a Dark creature awakening.  
  
It's probably not. It's _probably_ just a prank. Yeah, make poor Lily Evans the Muggleborn think she's turning into a monster. I wouldn't even put that past Potter and Black, let alone Mulciber and his cronies. I still can't believe Sev has to share a dorm with that creep.  
  
Just in case, though, maybe I shouldn't go to Madam Pomfrey until I'm _sure_ it's a prank. My vision is fine – maybe a little better than normal, actually – so it's not like I _have_ to go for healing yet. I've got time to hit the books and figure out exactly what's happening to me. If it is a prank, the books will prove that. If it's not... well, I need to know how much trouble I'll be in if someone finds out.  
  
But if I want to avoid the infirmary, I need to make sure no one else sees my creepy black eyes.  
  
I point my wand at my own face and cast _Finite Incantatem_ , hoping that someone's just glamoured it, that there's something there I can dispel. Nothing happens. I sigh. If this is a prank, it's definitely a thorough one.  
  
" _Phantale!_ " I say, casting a glamour of my own, and my eyes return to their usual green, human-looking selves.  
  
Okay. Good. It's hidden. For now.  
  
Now let's see how much reading I can get done before Transfiguration.  
  
~~  
  
I'm hunched over a back table in the library, deep enough in that only the most hassled-looking OWL and NEWT students pass me by. An enormous book is spread across the table – _The Complete Encyclopedia of the Near-Human: Beings and Creatures from Alkonost to Yuki-onna_.  
  
As it turns out, a bunch of creature species have solid black eyes. I made a whole list, but as I go through it, I keep crossing names off, one after the other. I'm turning fourteen next month, so any species that's obvious from infancy or that doesn't reveal itself until sixteen or seventeen is out. The eyes are the first physical change – that I've noticed, anyway – so any species whose first tell is claws or a tail is out. It can't be any of the full moon periodic species, since right now the moon is waning. And I haven't seen anything that mentions that hunger...  
  
At least, until I open to the section on jorogumo, and the subheading reads _The Ravenous Spiders_.  
  
I quickly skim through the text. Born looking human, transformation starts around their 14th birthday, begins with bottomless hunger and then solid black eyes, with more spider parts showing up over the next few weeks before a full transformation. The more I read, the more a pit sinks into my stomach. _This is it_ , I realize, as I circle them on my list. What am I turning into?  
  
_Jorogumo are obligate anthropophagi – that is, they must eat human beings to survive. Because of this, jorogumo are forbidden from most Wizarding countries, subject to exile or execution if discovered._  
  
What the fuck? What the _fuck_? What kind of creepy, sick prank is this? I almost want to scream – except I really _don't_ want to scream, because what if it's true? What if it's true, and I freak out in the library, and so everyone finds out what I am and I get _executed_?!  
  
My quill flutters in my hand – oh, Merlin, I am _trembling_. I grab the book again, the page rustling as I grip it much too hard. I need to finish reading this, all of it. If there's not enough information here, I can find more. There _has_ to be a way to tell if this is for real or not. There just has to be.  
  
Calm down. Control yourself, Lily. Slow breaths. I've reined in my temper before, I can damn well do it now. Don't give yourself away. Read the book. Find out if it's fake. If it is... _that's_ when I can let my temper really rip.  
  
I force my eyes to the top of the page, and start to read it all again.  
  
_Jorogumo are shapeshifters who typically hunt at bars or social clubs, seducing wizards and Muggles alike using beautiful human shapes and then eating them in their native form, that of giant acromantulas. Their acromantula forms are extremely powerful, with tough, spell-resistant exoskeletons, strong muscles, powerful venom, and excellent night vision._  
  
_They have excellent shapeshifting abilities and instincts, exceeded only by Metamorphmagi. They are able to transform into human beings of any age, race, shape, size, or sex. They are also able to apply their acromantula transformation only partially, often using so-called "part-forms" for additional power, abilities, or intimidation. In addition, they are natural Legilimens, enabling them to seduce, manipulate, or impersonate people with ease._  
  
Okay. Maybe this won't be so bad. The powers sound pretty cool, at least. Not that I'd want to _eat people for them_ —  
  
Stop. Calm _down_ , Lily. I don't even know if this is real yet. _  
  
_I sigh. There must be worse things to turn into. A werewolf, maybe. Being a werewolf would just _suck_. Though, I'm sure some people would be scared by the whole giant spider thing, but honestly, I like spiders. Always have.  
  
... Now I might know why.  
  
Anyway, if I really am a jorogumo, then I ought to be able to shapeshift these weird eyes away. But I only started feeling hungry a few days ago, and it says that it's supposed to take a _month_ for me to get my full powers! I don't know if I can keep my eyes glamoured for a whole month, and that's ignoring the _venom_ and the _fangs_ I'm supposed to end up with before it's done! Are there potions that would let me finish my transformation faster? Or ones that would hide the effects before it finishes? They would probably be in the Restricted Section, but my teachers love me, and I should have no problem wheedling a pass to the creature section from Professor Kettleburn...  
  
I'm getting ahead of myself. First I need to figure out whether I'm _actually_ a jorogumo. I'm a Muggleborn, but that just means no _known_ wizarding ancestry. Who knows what kinds of creatures could be in my blood? This book doesn't have any way to test if I'm a real jorogumo, but that wouldn't be in the Restricted Section, right? Creature detection? I stick a bookmark in the _Encyclopedia_ , and tuck it under my arm.  
  
I walk back to the creature section, looking for the big hole where I'd removed the encyclopedia. It should be somewhere around here. Detection, diagnosis, ident... aha! _Identifying Non-Humans: A Hair-Based Method_. I pull it out of the shelf, turn around—  
  
"Aagh!" I say, flinching back. One of my housemates – Remus Lupin, usually the _least_ creepy of Potter's cronies – is hovering right behind me, staring at my books. "Remus, what the heck?"  
  
"Uh... hi, Lily," he says, oddly ashen-faced. "Uh... I just... can I see what you're reading?" He reaches for my books.  
  
"No!" I say, yanking them back from him. No _way_ am I letting him see any of these – what if he figures something out?! "Remus, you're creeping me out, back off!"  
  
His expression gets even more freaked. "Lily, I... I don't... I'm not..."  
  
I sigh. Poor kid can't even put three words together. I still think he's being a creep, but yelling at Remus Lupin always makes me feel like I've kicked a puppy. "Look, I'm sorry, just let me read in peace? Please? I'm just starting on my project for Professor Kettleburn, nothing to do with you."  
  
"Okay," he says, seeming finally to be catching his breath. "Er. Sorry, Lily."  
  
"No big deal," I mutter, before hauling my books back out to the desk in the corner.  
  
For a second, I wonder if Remus was acting so weird because it _is_ a prank, and he wants to check whether I'm buying it or not. But I _know_ what Remus is like when he's being mischievous, and this isn't it. He seemed genuinely _freaked_. Why would he?...  
  
Huh. Maybe I'm not the only one waking up a little different these days. I should really keep a closer eye on him.  
  
I get out a parchment and start going through both books, making notes and copying the most important stuff. I _will_ solve this thing. I have to.  
  
~~  
  
The potion bubbles in my cauldron as I glance nervously toward the front of the classroom.  
  
One of the Potions tutors is standing there – a tall, blond-haired NEWT student, given a few Knuts and a few points of extra credit to watch our study session and make sure no one dies or blows up the lab. It's a free practice, so we can all brew whatever we want. I hope he's not sharp enough to figure out just what _I_ want to brew today.  
  
It almost surprises me just how easy this is. It only needs supply-cupboard ingredients and techniques comfortably within my third-year repertoire. But I've cross-referenced it in two books, and it is definitely a potion for detecting jorogumo.  
  
The surface turns purple, bubbling steadily.  
  
And it's done.  
  
I pour off a bottle, stoppering it and conjuring a wax seal. I vanish the residue left in my cauldron – I don't _think_ anyone is likely to try and figure out what I brewed, but why run the risk – andtuck the bottle into my bag.  
  
I try to leave quietly, but my friend Severus sitting in the back row quickly scuttles that plan.  
  
"Hi, Lily!" says Sev. "I didn't see you!" He wouldn't have – I sat in the middle on purpose, knowing he always sits in the back. Not that I love being standoffish, but if anyone could have figured out what I was brewing, it'd be Sev. He's going to be a master potioneer someday. "You wanna brew with me?"  
  
"Sorry, gotta finish my Transfiguration essay," I lie. "Maybe tomorrow?"  
  
"I'll be here!" he promises, and I nod and smile and then get the heck out of there.  
  
It's hard to be truly solitary in Hogwarts Castle, and I don't want anyone to see this – even if they wouldn't have a clue what they're looking at. Eventually, I settle on using my potion in a small bathroom. Not the most original place to be up to no good, but it should be good enough. And it offers a convenient way to dispose of the evidence, once I'm done.  
  
I set the bottle of potion down on the sink, unseal and uncork it. The purple potion fizzes excitedly through the mouth of the bottle. I take hold of a strand of my long, curly hair, sever it with a quick charm, and then drop it in the potion.  
  
It starts to fizz and foam, more violent than any Muggle soda ever could. It changes colors, too, from blue to magenta to white in just a few seconds. It's oddly nerve-wracking, and I grit my teeth. If the potion ends up red, I'm not a jorogumo. I can go to Madam Pomfrey and tell her all about this horrid prank. If it turns black...  
  
I suck in a breath through my teeth. The potion has stopped. The process is complete. There's no more fizzing, no bubbling, no movement. And the whole bottle is black as ink.  
  
My head suddenly feels heavy. I rest my arms on the rim of the sink, sobbing into the basin.  
  
I am a jorogumo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because I'm not writing much Worm fic, doesn't mean I have to give up on writing cannibalism and giant spiders! :P
> 
> My amazing beta reader GlassGirlCeci receives a copy of _The Complete Encyclopedia of the Near-Human: Beings and Creatures from Alkonost to Yuki-Onna_.


	2. Growing Pains

"James Potter," I snarl. There's a bitter taste in my mouth, and my wand is pointed right at his big, stupid face. "You really can't behave like a decent human being for even _one train ride_?"  
  
"Aww, come on, it's only Snivellus!" Potter says. Sev is sprawled across one of the compartment's bench seats, frozen in place with boils on his face and his skin slowly turning purple.  
  
" _Expelliarmus_!" I cast, and Potter – somehow caught off guard – flies into the compartment window. Usually that's where I would stop, but I wonder – _why_?" _Furnuculus_!" I grin as the boils start to grow. I never realized how _fun_ it would be to teach Potter a lesson. " _Impedimenta_! _Incarcerous_!"  
  
Potter winces, starts to yammer at me before I silence him. I turn to Sev, unjinxing him. He gasps a little at me as I unfreeze him. "You did a real number on James," he says as he stands back up, looking bewildered. "I didn't think you went in for hexing people."  
  
I scoff. "Like he didn't deserve it." I turn back to Potter, unsilencing him. "You have anything to say for yourself, Potter?" I might still be merciful if he apologizes to Sev.  
  
"Whoaaaa..." Potter's absolutely flabbergasted. "That was so cool! I didn't know you could hex like that! If you hang out with us, we can—"  
  
"I am _never_ hanging out with _you_ ," I say, my voice icy as I turn my back on him.Shouldn't have bothered giving him a chance.  
  
"At least let me go!" he says. "And give me back my wand!" When I turn back around, I can see actual panic in his eyes. What, doesn't want to explain to his parents that a girl kicked his ass and took his wand?  
  
"Like you would have let Severus go?" I ask wryly. I probably would get in trouble if I just kept his wand, but I also don't want to deal with him again any time soon. So I raise his wand into the air, pinched between two fingers the way I hold particularly nasty ingredients in Potions class. No doubt he and his friends would be quick to try and get back at us.  
  
Let's make sure James, at least, doesn't have the chance.  
  
" _Glacitara_!" I say, pointing my wand at his. Frost starts to form on the wand, then ice that quickly grows into a thick blue crystal, making the wand unusable and inaccessible. "That'll melt in a day or two," I say with a grin, before tossing it onto Potter's bound body. "I'm sure a prefect will find you eventually. _Stupefy_!"  
  
James looks _utterly_ betrayed in the second he has before falling into total unconsciousness. I spit at him, and then turn away. What a total arse.  
  
"Uh... Lily?" Sev asks. "Why is that smoking?"  
  
I turn back around – only to find that my spit is foaming up on the carpet, emitting a thin trail of yellow smoke. Shite. I didn't realize my venom glands had come in. " _Evanesco_." A simple Vanishing Charm does nothing. Great. " _Venevanesco_ ," I cast – the Venom-Vanishing Charm, one of the ones I'd found in my research – and it evaporates, revealing a large burn on the carpet. Yes, I need a _special charm_ to vanish my own blasted venom. Also works for acromantulas, basilisks, naga, manticores, and a whole host of other extremely dangerous creatures. I'm in august company, here.  
  
"Why did that fail?" Sev asks, beginning to pale. "What charm was that?"  
  
"Let's not talk about that here, okay?" I ask, grimacing at the burned patch. "Let's get back to our compartment."  
  
Sev and I have a compartment to ourselves toward the back of the train – Sev had dug up some advanced locking charms for it. The idea was to keep James Potter and his cronies out, but of course it kept everyone else out too. Clever of him, at least until he went to find the snack trolley on his own.  
  
" _Muffliato_ ," I cast, Sev smiling as I do – he always likes it when I use his spells. "Sev, this is... pretty serious, and you may not like it." I look him straight in the eyes. "Swear to me you won't tell _anyone_ about this, no matter how much you hate it."  
  
Sev looks even more worried now than he was before, but he still nods his head quickly. "Of course, Lily. Always."  
  
"Thank you," I say, grimacing. I know I can trust Sev, but I really didn't want to tell _anyone_. "You remember a few weeks back, when I thought someone had pranked me? To make me always hungry?"  
  
"Yeah," he says with a nod. He sounds confused, like he doesn't understand how that could matter.  
  
"I'm pretty sure that wasn't a prank," I say nervously. "I'm pretty sure it was the start of a Dark creature awakening."  
  
"What?" Whatever Sev was expecting, it clearly wasn't this. "But... but you're just _hungry_. That's the only thing. How is that supposed to be enough?"  
  
"It's not the only thing," I admit. "I've just been hiding the rest. Glamouring my face, and... that, apparently, was my venom."  
  
"Show me," he says, still disbelieving.  
  
"All right," I say, my voice squeaking just a little. I get up and Charm the windows opaque, before turning my wand on myself. "I'm not fully changed yet, but... _Finite Incantatem_ ," I say, and show my real face for the first time.  
  
My eyes are still solid black, but now my mouth holds two long, pointed white fangs. I do a biting motion to make them pop out of my mouth, and – this is new, but not unexpected after what happened out in the hall – a droplet of venom rolls off one of them, dripping onto the floor, starting to hiss and foam like my spit had. I vanish it, and turn back to Severus.  
  
"So?" I ask, my voice a little weak. I'd taught myself the Memory Charm – figured I'd need it sooner or later. But I really hope I don't have to use it on my best friend. "You're okay with this, right? You're not going to... do anything?"  
  
He looks unsure, for a moment. Disturbed. I almost think I can see teardrops in his eyes. But then he leaps forward, and hugs me. "Always, Lily," he mutters in my ear, trying hard not to let on that he's crying. "I care about you. That won't change just because... just because you're not human." He holds me for a while, and I can feel him trembling, just a little. But when he lets go and sits back down on his side of the train car, his eyes are Charmed dry. I almost sigh. That's Sev for you – never willing to show his feelings.  
  
"Thank you," I whisper, sitting down myself.  
  
"But, uh..." Severus still can't quite hide the fear in his voice. "What are you?"  
  
"I'm a jorogumo," I mutter, my eyes fixed to the floor. I have no idea what to say. I don't think he does, either.  
  
"I... I think I've heard of you," he finally manages. "Shapeshifting acromantulas? The same group as sirens and naga?"  
  
"Yeah," I admit. "To both of those." Sirens and naga are the other two seductress species. Our peers. And they too eat human beings. I'd... almost hoped Severus wouldn't know.  
  
"And you're sure it's real? It's not Potter or... Mulciber, or someone?"  
  
"I made a detection potion. It was positive. I haven't completed the transformation yet – I guess that could still fail, but..." I shrug, grimacing with my fangs out. "I _really_ don't think so. It's gone way too far to be a prank."  
  
Sev nods solemnly. "Yeah," he whispers.  
  
"I'm going to brew and drink confirmation potion over the break. That should settle it."  
  
"Right." Severus nods. "Come see me, afterward. Show me how it went, okay?"  
  
"Of course, Sev," I say, smiling. I'd been so scared about telling him, but now... well. I'm glad my friend will be here with me.  
  
"Um... question," Sev says, suddenly scowling as if he's trying to figure out a problem. "Did you borrow my bone powder for the confirmation potion?"  
  
"Yeah," I admit. "It's... illegal, obviously. I hear apothecaries watch out for people buying the ingredients for illegal potions, so I didn't want to get them all from the same place. I borrowed some from you, bought some in Hogsmeade, owl-ordered some, and stole some from Slughorn's cupboard." I smile weakly. "The Ministry usually just exiles jorogumo these days, but execution is still on the books. I don't want to take any chances."  
  
"I wouldn't, either," he says with an uneasy smile.  
  
We keep talking for a while, Severus asking me more questions about my jorogumo awakening as he starts to get more comfortable with my changes. The conversation quickly drifts to other things, like jorogumo venom's applications in potions brewing, the way my transformation has made my temper worse, or the many spells jorogumo are resistant to. It takes a surprisingly long time before either Sev or I remembers that he never got that sandwich he'd left the compartment for in the first place. I only realize the problem when he's almost ready to leave.  
  
"Stop!" I say. He freezes, hand on the door handle. "Don't go out – I need to put my glamour back on."  
  
"O-oh," Severus says, face turning ashen as he realizes how grave the consequences might be if I were seen. "Right. Sorry."  
  
"Don't worry, I'm pretty fast at this by now." I take out a little folding mirror, then look myself in the eyes, pointing my wand at my face. " _Phantale_ ," I say, covering up first the eyes and then the fangs, putting extra power into it as I will the glamour to be as powerful and long-lasting as I can make it. It's wand magic, which means I can't renew it after I go home without getting in trouble. So it's gonna have to last, or Mum and Dad and Petunia will all see my creepy face. "There," I say, smiling at him. "All set." I stand, putting the mirror away. "I'll come with you, in case Potter tries something again."  
  
Severus looks a bit weirded-out again. I guess it would be kind of strange, seeing someone go from visibly monstrous to totally human in one simple spell. "You want anything?" he asks, trying to pretend he's not bothered.  
  
"Yeah, definitely," I admit, smiling. "I am _always_ hungry."  
  
~~  
  
I wake up, look in the tall mirror screwed to my bedroom door, and then groan. I guess it was too much to hope for, that my glamour would last two whole days.  
  
I meant to brew my potion yesterday – the day after I got back from Hogwarts – but the owl with my apothecary order didn't show up until I was almost ready to go to bed last night. There was a note in the package about slow delivery because of the Christmas rush, but I'm not sure I buy that – who in Merlin's name gives Potions ingredients as a Christmas present?  
  
So now my Muggle family is all going to see my eyes and my fangs. Ugh. At least they won't know what they really mean.  
  
I get dressed and start heading down for breakfast – only to run into Petunia on the stairs. She turns around, glares at me, and then her jaw drops. "Muuuum!" she shouts, running down the stairs and into the kitchen with her feet pounding against the floor. "Lily's turned herself into a _freak_!" I just sigh, roll my eyes, and keep going. Should have known she'd be insufferable.  
  
When I get into the kitchen, Tuney makes a face at me, her plate of breakfast held in her hands, before she runs out and dashes back up the stairs to her bedroom.  
  
"Tuney," Mum says, "if you want to have breakfast you should eat with your fam— Oh!" She puts a hand to her mouth when she catches sight of me. She's clearly surprised, too, but not _too_ surprised – and she's certainly not catastrophizing about it like Tuney. "You do look a bit strange, darling." She's become a master of understatement since I became a witch.  
  
"Yeah, I got pranked," I lie, fidgeting and sighing like that's supposed to be some terrible secret. "I thought it was totally healed before I left Hogwarts, but... clearly not."  
  
Mum nods, smiling. I've complained to her about all the crazy pranks at Hogwarts every time I've been home, so this probably isn't too far-fetched for her. "It's all right, dear, it just looks a touch peculiar. Will you be able to make that go away? It's just I don't think you'll be able to go out like that, and I had hoped to take you and Petunia to the cinema..."  
  
"I'll brew a potion today that should fix all this," I say confidently. "For good this time. I'd... prefer it if you didn't disturb me while I'm working, though. And don't worry if I end up brewing through lunch. Don't knock on the door or anything – I'll come down when I'm done."  
  
"Okay, dear." She seems a bit lost for comment – she always does seem a bit bewildered when I bring up magic. She still hasn't stopped staring when I use the Floo, either.  
  
"Oh, but don't mention it to Petunia. She'd interrupt me just to spite me. I thought the _little_ sister was supposed to be the obnoxious one..." I roll my eyes.  
  
"There, there," Mum says, smiling knowingly at me. "She may have been a bit dunderheaded lately, but she _is_ your sister. I'm sure she'll come around, sooner or later."  
  
"Hope so," I say noncommittally, before digging into my sausage.  
  
I love Mum's breakfasts – they're even bigger and better than the ones at Hogwarts. Dad comes down to eat with us for a while. He's wigged out by the eyes and the fangs too, but he accepts my lie just as readily as Mum did, and we have a good breakfast together as a family – or as close to a family as we ever get these days, with Petunia scarcely willing to be in the same room as me.  
  
Then I walk back upstairs to my bedroom, first locking the door behind me, and then using a quick burst of wandless magic to make sure it _stays_ locked. I open my window, and set up all my potions gear on the table beneath it – my scales, my thermometer, my measuring cups, and the magical burner I bought last summer.  
  
I'm pretty good at potions, but this is definitely going to be a challenge. A lot of the ingredients are new to me, and some are hazardous – I need to keep my dragonhide gloves on the whole time I'm brewing lest I burn my hands. And I have to use a Muggle stopwatch instead of the timing charms I use at school. But this is the most important potion I've ever brewed. I won't mess this up. I can't.  
  
I take it slow and thorough. I worked out the adjustments to the recipe days ago, checking and double-checking my work, before memorizing the recipe to the point that I could recite it in my sleep. I prepare all my ingredients, setting them up on slate potions dishes, before any of the actual brewing starts. I lug my cauldron to the bathroom, filling it up with water a third of the way. Then I set it down, turn up the burner, and begin.  
  
It's a complex, grueling brew, just as I expected. But I prepared well. I'm ready. And so I brew quickly and decisively, finishing up a bit past noon. When I turn off the burner and let the cauldron cool, it's all I can do to stop trembling and take a deep breath. When I drink this potion, everything will change.  
  
But for now, I step away from the cauldron, turning my attention instead to my record player, sitting on the top of my dresser. Dark creature awakenings can be... loud. Snapping bones, things getting knocked over as bodies expand. Often, there are screams. I'm going to _try_ to keep it down... but, still, it'd be good if I had something to cover up the sound. And I do – The Beatles, Abbey Road. I put it on and crank the volume up real loud.  
  
Then I turn back to my cauldron, and extract a vial. It's a murky blue-black, with strangely shaped shadows whorling inside of it. It looks and smells horrible, even by potion standards. No surprise. The recipe warned me about that.  
  
Now for the moment of truth. I stare at the potion, take a deep breath, and then drink it all in one gulp. A feeling of warmth settles into my stomach, and then pins and needles start to dance across my body, slowly but surely.  
  
Okay. It's started. Now for the waiting. _Lots_ of waiting.  
  
This isn't like Polyjuice Potion – or a horror novel, for that matter. I'm not going to _instantly_ change after chugging this down. My body is _already_ changing – this potion doesn't need to start that. Instead, it turns up the pressure on the change that's already happening, slowly and steadily, until it breaks through all at once.  
  
Supposedly it'll take twenty minutes or so before anything actually happens. I've every expectation that they'll be the most _agonizing_ twenty minutes of my life.  
  
At least I have cleanup to take my mind off things. I save a few more vials of the potion – not likely I'll have any use for it, but you never know – and pour the rest off into a little wooden box with a mesh screen over its opening. A Vanishing Box, required for home brewing because waste potions and Muggle sewers do _not_ get along. They sent me a stern warning about it – the Ministry's been very shirty about that sort of thing since the Leeds Muck Monster got them in hot water with the ICW.  
  
After that, I get my homework out, lying on the bed with my heels kicking up in the air as I scribble down Transfiguration and Arithmancy answers. It's distracting, feeling the pins and needles intensify, and I'm not sure I'm doing my best work, but I have to do _something_ or I'll burst. I start singing along to the Beatles as I go – "Something" has always been one of my favorites.  
  
Then I feel something. A strange wobble, deep inside my chest. I get up. Is this it? I strip naked – don't want to tear up my clothes when I change – and stand in the center of the room, far from anything I might break or knock over.  
  
There's something moving inside my body, my organs squishing and moving and sliding around before tightening into a new arrangement. It feels very strange, but not painful, not yet. The worst, I'm sure, is yet to come. I stand there in the middle of my bedroom, tensing up, waiting for something to happen.  
  
Nothing does.  
  
What? Why isn't it... I guess that was an earlier stage of the transformation? The recipe did say that the change would happen in parts, but I guess I wasn't expecting a false start like that. I pick up my clothes and set them down on my desk – probably best to leave them off. The real change _has_ to come soon, right?  
  
Then I flinch, spinning rapidly around as someone hammers on my door. "Turn that horrible noise off!" Petunia screeches.  
  
I run over to the door. "It's the Beatles, Tuney!" I yell back, still naked and keenly conscious of it – Tuney can't get in, but it still feels _strange_ pretending as if nothing's wrong. "Quit being such a grinch!"  
  
"Freaks don't get to listen to the Beatles!"  
  
Apparently Mum heard that, because she calls Petunia downstairs, her voice deceptively mild despite being so loud I can hear it up here. I snicker. She's in for it now.  
  
I try to go back to my Arithmancy, but it's hard to focus on my work – my headache is growing, the pins-and-needles feeling intensifying. My penmanship gets worse and worse as my hands go numb. I finally give up, putting my homework away so I can lie on my bed and wait for the change to come. I watch the second hand tick by on my clock. It has to be soon now, right?  
  
Right?  
  
But the second hand keeps ticking, the Beatles keep singing, and nothing happens. They finish one song. Then another. As Ringo Starr starts singing Octopus's Garden, I start to worry. Sure, the potion is clearly doing _something_ – I felt my _organs_ move, before, and the pins and needles feeling is only getting stronger. But what if I don't really change? What if it really is a prank, after all?  
  
That's when the pain kicks in.  
  
I only barely hold in a shout. My body feels like it's being stretched and smushed and twisted all at once – my head trying to mash inward, something swelling up beneath my arms, my hips and legs trying to squish together.  
  
I roll off my bed – _best not to be near anything I don't want destroyed when I change_ , that was one of the things I planned, but I don't manage to get very far before I'm paralyzed by the trembling. It's strange, almost surreal – lying on the floor, looking up at all the stupid Muggle decorations as Ringo Starr rattles on about the bottom of the sea. I'm turning into a giant acromantula, and this is what I see? Hah.  
  
I hear the _crunch_ of breaking bone, feel the worst pain I've ever felt – and faint before I can scream.  
  
~~  
  
Consciousness returns slowly and fuzzily. I start to notice sights and sounds before I really notice that I'm awake. The record player is making gentle hissing and clicking sounds – it's reached the end of the record. The sun hangs low in the sky, burning brightly orange as it begins to set. I must have been asleep for hours – it wasn't quite one in the afternoon when I started to change.  
  
 _I changed._  
  
Suddenly I'm awake again. I scramble to my feet – I nearly trip over myself, I have more legs than before and I don't really know what to do with all of them, but eventually I manage it – and run to my mirror, still hanging on the door just like always.  
  
I am _beautiful_.  
  
Probably not what most people would think looking at me. But I am.  
  
I spin around so that I can see myself at every angle – because, yeah, I can see _behind_ me. I have two big eyes pointing forward, and then three sets of smaller eyes pointing upward, to the sides, and to the back.  
  
I'm _big_. I knew I'd be a giant spider, but I'm even bigger than I'd expected from the pictures. I'm about four feet tall. My legspan is big enough to totally fill one of the big beds at Hogwarts – I stand about five or six feet wide and six or seven feet long. My fangs are longer than pencils, and at their base they're almost as big around as my human fists. I'm _fuzzy_ , too, and brightly colored – my legs are blood-red, fading to a sinister-looking black at the joints, and my body has a complicated whorling black-and-red pattern. And there is nothing human left in me. I do a little dance on my many legs. This is so cool!  
  
Okay. This is wonderful. But can I turn back? If I can't yet, I'm going to have to run away until I figure it out, and that _won't_ be fun. I wasn't able to find much information about how jorogumo transform, but there are some good accounts of how Metamorphmagi feel when they transform. Apparently for them, it's just a matter of picturing the shape they want, and then sort of _pushing_. So I try that – I've gotten pretty good at visualizing myself, with all the glamours I've been casting on myself lately. I hold my image in my mind, and try to make myself _feel_ becoming it – and, once again, I change. It feels _strange_ , my body mass squishing and sliding around like it's goop in a plastic bag, but it's not painful, and it's almost effortless.  
  
And then I look in the mirror, and see Lily Evans looking back. Perfectly human. Four limbs, soft pink flesh. My eyes are green. My fangs are gone. No one would ever know that I'm a jorogumo.  
  
I flip the record over as I get dressed, singing along to the Beatles once more.  
  
"Lily?" Mum calls up the stairs. "It's time for dinner, are you coming down? You must be hungry, after working all day!"  
  
"Am I ever!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My amazing beta reader GlassGirlCeci receives a vial of confirmation potion. //\;;/\\\
> 
> Looks like I'm on a roll with this one. :) With that said, I am going to try and wrap up _Shedding Lionskin_ 8 soon – I feel bad, that chapter keeps getting pushed back. And I've done some work on the next Typhon Mind.


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